quarta-feira, 11 de outubro de 2017

Jealousy

I didn’t ask 
Not because I was afraid he could lie
Whatever it was 
I don’t even have how to prove 
If it was true 
Or if it was untrue 
I didn’t ask
Because I was afraid 
Afraid what I was wondering was true
And he would took the courage 
To tell me he was seeing someone 
That he had moved on
And I was nothing

But another one

sexta-feira, 22 de setembro de 2017

LearnIng how to be a heartless being

It was an oversight
A memory lapse
A failed act
There was no reason 
Consciousness
Or purpose 
I just forgot my heart there, with him

Didn't realize till I needed it back
Till started hurting
(Yeah, I had forgotten also that love hurts)
Till I figured out I couldn't control its beats anymore

I can't blame him
He hadn't ask for it
He haven't stole it
He might even haven't noticed I left it there

It's not his fault
I didn't give him as gift
Or left it there, at the center of the table to be found
I don't even remember exactly when and where I left it
All I know is that when I was back I was missing it 
I must have forgotten it there, with him

And I want to ask him to bring me back
Because I miss him 
Because this absence of him hurts
Because I'm afraid I won't see him anymore

And I'm afraid to ask him to bring it back me
I don't want him to know that I let my defenses down
I don't want him to see how little is my heart
I don't want him to know how cold and hard I can be

Maybe I should just let it go
Start to get used to live without him 
Learn how to be a heartless being

After all, who needs a heart when you are so afraid to love?

segunda-feira, 6 de março de 2017

Foi um leitura longa, demorada, pausada, eu diria até interrompida.
Interrompida pela tua ausência se fazendo presente toda vez que a palavra falta no texto aparecia.
Interrompida pela lembrança de ter você em meus braços toda a vez que a palavra juntos era lida.
Interrompida por um sorrizo bobo toda vez que as palavras amor, felicidade e suas correlatas saltavam entre as linhas.
Interrompida por longos suspiros quando as palavras longe e distante se infiltravam nas frases escritas.
E ao final da leitura, um livro curto e intenso de final positivo e esperançoso, quis te escrever: "Como é bom sentir saudades de você"; assim mesmo, em bom português.
Mas você não iria entender. Não é uma questão de tradução. Sentimentos não se traduzem em palavras, e você nem fala a minha língua...

quinta-feira, 1 de dezembro de 2016

Sweethurt

His eyes were lost when my eyes found him. There, waiting for the elevator, he was so beautiful that hurt me. I couldn't be more sad about the great probability of not seeing him again, about the possibility of never been noticed. But probabilities are misunderstood and do not reflect fate. Defying the reality I created for us, we met again. I didn't take too much to realize that a fire was ignited between us. We both were burning so explosive was the attraction. And before melting completely, I took his picture afraid I wouldn't see him again and declared to myself that I had felt in love . I analyzed his picture over and over again, all the angles, the colors, the shapes, the details. It was almost impossible to stop looking at it. It was unacceptable not to create a new reality for us. It was painful not to be able to deny that he made me smile every time I thought about us. He lies to me, and I know it. And the best part of it is that he knows that I know. But we don't talk about it, we just accept it. He makes me shiver and he knows this is been challenging to me. But we don't look for reasons, we both have fears. He can't be mine and he knows I wish he was. But we don't make promises, we let it be. Because I am his little doll, the one he plays whenever he wants, but because he wants. He gives meaning to the few seconds we spend together. And I love that he is wild, intense, indomitable, free. And I might be just one more for him, but he is my only and unique sweethurt.

sexta-feira, 23 de setembro de 2016

Quando o amor não acontece

Quando o amor não acontece
A gente chora e entristece
E sente raiva
E quebra promessas
E enlouquece

As vezes o amor não acontece
E as juras feitas perdem o sentido
As fotos românticas empalidecem
E a gente acha que não o merece
E a gente se culpa e culpa e não desculpa e não se desculpa

Na maioria das vezes o amor não acontece
E tudo bem, a vida segue
Mais cedo mais tarde a gente esquece
A magoa passa
E logo a esperança reaparece

(Pois o amor é coisa rara
Não se vê aqui e acolá, espalhado em todo lugar
E não adianta se forçar
O amor tem vontade própria
Ele simplesmente acontece
Sem aviso prévio
Sem dar pistas
Sem pedir permissão
As vezes basta um olhar
Na maiorias das vezes não se sabe a razão
Pois é o amor que escolhe a gente
O oposto é ilusão)

O amor não aconteceu pra nós dois
Não desta vez
Não reciprocamente
E amor não se aprende, se pede ou se prende
Amor a gente sente

E quando o amor não acontece
Não há muito o que fazer
Não há porquê em insistir
O melhor é ir embora
E abrir espaço pra quem sabe um dia ele possa existir